My friend Bobby Rio was working with one of his private coaching clients, let’s call him Josh (not his real name). Josh had run into a problem that many guys face when they finally start to get good at attracting women. They have difficulty keeping the ones they really like, and end up wondering why women lose interest.
Josh told Bobby a story of how he’d recently met a woman through a mutual friend…
He explained to Bobby how she was sexy, smart, and totally into him. But then, for some reason she went cold on him. Josh had a gut feeling that things had changed, and he knew it was over between them. And sure enough, about a week later she started making up excuses as to why she couldn’t hang out… And finally, she was gone.
What did Josh do wrong you may be wondering? He made three very common mistakes, so pay attention because there’s a possibility you might be making these mistakes too.
3 reasons why women lose interest
Bobby had Josh send him some transcripts of his text conversations with her, and also asked some pretty intimate questions about how he felt about her, and how he expressed his feelings to her… Take note of these 3 main reasons why Josh’s woman lost interest in him, and why women lose interest in general.
1. Being too needy
Yes, this is a pretty obvious one. But here’s the thing about neediness. Most guys tend to assume that because they feel strong attraction for a woman, she feels the same way about them. And they end up thinking “Ahh.. I can finally drop the game.”
Unfortunately, you can’t.
As Bobby looked over Josh’s text transcripts, he noticed that Josh was continually sending things like “hey, what are you doing today?”, and ALWAYS seemed to want to be in contact with her…
And he NEVER ended the text conversations first. Not even once.
Josh also expressed huge disappointment when she would turn down his invites to meet up.
Here’s a key point: When a woman is still making up her mind about you, you’ve got to avoid putting any pressure on her to make a quick decision. The reason being that almost every time you put pressure on her to decide, she’ll choose the decision you don’t like.
And the thing that’s ironic is that when you adapt this attitude, you’ll find that she’s the one who becomes kind of “needy”.
2. Displaying insecurity
While Josh’s game had hugely improved over the past few months, he still had the self image of a guy who was picked on in high school, and never really felt comfortable around “the cool crowd”.
One thing that many dating gurus fail to mention is that once you start dating hotter women, you’re going to have to start socializing with a different type of crowd. And you’ve got to feel comfortable in that situation.
And his insecurity was blatantly obvious. Josh had what Bobby refers to as the “Us vs Them” mentality towards hot women and alpha males. He still kind of resented that he wasn’t part of the club, and tried to make himself feel better by criticizing them and pointing out their deficiency. The only thing that came from Josh acting this way was making HIMSELF come across to women as petty and insecure.
3. Having lack of ambition
When you’re in your late teens/early twenties, you can get away with lack of ambition. But once you’re over age 25 women can immediately recognize where you fit on the totem pole. And MOST women would much rather be with a man who has the attitude of “I’m going to conquer the world!”
As far as Josh’s situation went, he worked at a job that he hated, and complained about it constantly. Having ambition turns women on. Period. The “poor me” attitude that Josh had is nothing but a turn off to women.
If you want women to be excited about being with you, you’ve got to be excited about your future and where you’re going in life. Get her wanting to come along for the ride.
Make being with you an opportunity she can’t turn down.
As you probably now realize, keeping a woman’s interest after you’ve attracted her is much more of an internal thing.
You can fake a woman out at the bar, you can fake her out for a few dates, but if you’re not the total package internally, you can bet your bottom dollar that she’s going to figure it out sooner than later.