If you’re wondering how to pick up women, one of the best ways is to just talk. It’s a proven fact that women love to talk. In fact, women talk almost twice as much as men do per day on average. They’re very social creatures and love engaging in conversations with people. Use this to your advantage by learning how to have good conversations with girls.
The first key ingredient for how to pick up women is to understand how much they love to talk. You should hold this positive belief towards women when you’re picking them up. If you’re thinking girls don’t want to talk to you, you’re wrong. Most women are dying to talk to someone, so that someone may as well be you. And you already know this to be true because you see women using their cell phones all the time. They’re talking or messaging. Women love to talk, so give them a good reason to. 😉
The first key ingredient for you to learn is how to keep your conversations going. You’ll require a few good openers that have high success rates in starting conversations.
The Importance of Openers
Firstly, you’ve got to understand how important openers are. While they certainly won’t make or break the success you have in the end, they will give you the opportunity to utilize the rest of your pick up material. If you don’t open the interaction, who will? For the most part, it’s the guy’s responsibility to open the interaction, not the girl’s. Sometimes, very rarely, a woman will approach you, but this is not usually how it works. So, unless you want to wait a long time for one of these women to come on to you, it’s time you learn how to successfully open and lead to a conversation.
The whole objective of the opener is to lead to a conversation. Only in conversation can you utilize your attraction material and qualifying skills. So, you shouldn’t worry if your opener isn’t as good as the rest of your material because you can quickly get past it and proceed with the interaction. Openers can be as simple as just saying, “hi” or as complex as using high-risk humorous openers. High-risk humorous openers are those where you actually insult a certain aspect of society in hopes of getting a laugh out of her. Sometimes these openers work and sometimes they don’t, but when they do, the payoff is usually much greater than when you use a safer type of opener.
It’s best for you to have a few different openers that you use on a regular basis. This is because each situation is unique and requires a different type of opener, and you don’t want to use the wrong one and get shut down before the conversation can even get started. There are openers you can use during the day and openers which work better at night. The difference between these 2 situations is that during the day, women are not expecting to be approached whereas at night, they’re looking to socialize.
Openers are a key aspect for how to sleep with women. And so, simply having a few basic ones you can use when you see a woman you like can make all the difference in getting the green light to engage in conversation and get the ball rolling. Below are a few different types of openers with examples for each.
The Opinion Opener
Opinion openers can be very useful as a means for how to pick up women. There are numerous variations of this technique, but basically all you’re doing is asking her opinion on a subject when starting your conversation with her. It doesn’t even really matter what her opinion is. What matters is that by answering and giving you her opinion, she has given you permission to continue to picking her up.
One of my favorite openers is called the “Drunken I Love You’s Opener”. Women usually have strong opinions about when the right time to say I love you is. Take full advantage of this willingness to give her opinion on the subject by walking up to her and saying, “hey so my friend got really drunk last night and told his girlfriend that he loved her. But the next morning she got really mad at him because he told her he was drunk so it didn’t count. What are your thoughts on this?” You’re sure to get a response to this question, and it doesn’t really matter what she says. Once she gives her opinion, you’ll want to move on to a new topic anyway.
Another great opinion opener is called the “Set Up Opener”. This is where you ask a woman’s opinion on how to let a girl you’re not that interested in down easy. You can just say something like, “hey so my friend attempted to set me up with an attractive girl who I’m not really that interested in. I don’t want to hurt her feelings so I was wondering if maybe you know what the best way to let her down would be?” This does two things. One, it shows that you’re desirable because another gorgeous woman likes you, and two, it shows that you’re available and wanting to get to know her.
The Humorous Opener
Women love funny guys. It’s a guarantee that the funnier you are, the more attractive you’ll be in her eyes. And thus, humorous openers are a highly effective way to put yourself in a position to initiate the rest of your pick up material. You’ve got to have an opener no matter what situation you’re in, so why not make it a funny one? Here are 2 types of humorous openers that will help you along the way.
The first humorous opener is called the “Child Support Opener”. While this opener can be somewhat risky, with the right woman, it can be hilarious. You basically want to walk up to her and say, “I have a dilemma that I’m hoping you can help solve. I have to decide which of my 3 kids I’m going to send child support to. I have 3 kids from 4 moms and I also have a huge gambling problem so I can only afford to pay support for one of them.” This could offend some women, which is why it’s risky. But, if she figures out that you’re just messing with her, you’ll make her laugh and she’ll invite you to proceed with the interaction.
Another humorous opener is known as the “Secretary Opener”. With this technique, you’ll want to walk up to a woman and say, “I’m hoping to get your opinion on something. I’ve been having sex with my secretary for a few months now and she just told me that she should be making more money. I think she shouldn’t get a raise for a year, but what do you think?” She’ll be very confused that you’re asking her opinion on such a serious matter. You can continue on with the act until she gives her opinion, then you can say something like, “would you think differently if my secretary was a teenager?” “How about if she was my sister?” Keep doing this until she understands that you’re just being funny and messing with her.
Both these humorous openers are somewhat high risk. However, you’ll only get out of something that which you put in. So, the greater the risk you’re willing to take, the greater the reward you’ll receive at the end.
Openers can be both verbal and non-verbal, and while the majority of openers guys use are verbal, it’s also a good idea to have a few physical openers that you can use as well. There are different kinds of physical openers, which we will discuss below.
The first is the “High Five Opener”. You just give a girl a high five for any reason at all. Maybe you’re in a sports bar and your favorite team just scored. Start passing out high fives and give one to her as well. She can see that you’re fun and that you’re including her in an activity you enjoy. It’s the perfect opportunity to start a conversation by asking her if she likes the same team as you do. It doesn’t matter what her response is because all you’re doing is using your opener to start a conversation with her. Regardless of whether or not she likes the same team as you is relatively unimportant. You can simply change the subject and transition into your attraction material.
Another good physical opener is called the “Motion Over Opener”. This might not seem very effective, but it actually works more often than you’d think. When you make eye contact with the girl you’re interested in, all you do is beckon her over to you. About 50% of the time, the girl will come over. The only requirement of this technique is that the girl has to be looking at you for it to work. However, if she is looking at you, it will be successful about half the time. You should not be afraid to try it and don’t be afraid of not knowing what to say when she comes over. You can simply say that she’s too cute to stand there and not come over and say hi. Or you can use any other verbal opener you want.
Another opener you can use is the “Settle A Bet Opener”. With this opener you can just say, “hey I need you to help settle a bet I have going with my friend over there. How long does it take you to get ready when you’re going out?” This type of opener requires an answer, and if she does answer your question, you then have the green light to continue the conversation.
Then you might end up teasing her about the length of time it takes for her to get ready, and let her know that you won the bet. After this, you’ll want to change the subject and move onto the next phase, keeping the conversation fun and interesting.
The final opener which we’ll go over in this pick up guide is what I like to call the “‘That Look’ Opener”. With this opener you’ll want to be having a good time with your friends, looking around the room. As soon as a girl you like makes eye contact with you, walk up to her and say, “if you’re gonna give a guy THAT look, you should at least say hello.” She might reply by saying something like, “what look?” To which you reply, “what look?? Like a fat kid looking at an ice cream cone. That’s what look!” This type of opener will surely get a laugh out of her and put a smile on her face. The perfect way to transition into the rest of your pick up material.
Openers are very important if you want to know how to pick up women. Choose verbal openers or physical openers, but either way, you have to find a way to strike up a conversation if you ever hope to escalate the interaction to anything more. With solid confidence as you go forward you will surely inherit a reward in the end.
Another key factor for understanding how to pick up women is to increase the amount of compliance they give you. Compliance is basically when a person agrees to your request. You’ve got to build up the amount of compliance you have with her when you’re trying to pick her up. Below are some techniques you can use to increase the amount of compliance you have, which will help you get women back to your bedroom.
When you first approach a woman, you probably have very little compliance built up. She doesn’t know who you are and she’s probably not willing to do anything for you. So, the first bit of compliance you’ll want to establish is her agreeing to let you approach her. You can use any of the openers mentioned above to gain this compliance, but the important part is that you get the initial compliance so you can continue with your pick up material.
Once she gives you compliance to proceed with the conversation, you can start to compliment her without feeling uncomfortable. Then, each compliment you give her, within reason, builds more compliance. For example, if you find a woman attractive, but she’s not the most attractive woman you’ve ever seen, you could say something like, “I think you’re very cute.” If she says, “wow, thank you” you have increased your level of compliance with her.
You don’t want to increase the level of compliance too quickly. You can’t just walk up to her and compliment her right away, then say, “I want to sleep with you.” This is too big of a compliance request for her to comply with right off the bat. You’ve got to gradually increase the amount of compliance you get so you can build up to that big of a request.
Compliance can be built up verbally through compliments, dirty talk, and teasing remarks. It can also be built up through touch. If you touch a woman on the shoulder and she doesn’t pull away, you have compliance to keep your hand there and maybe go a little bit further by putting your arm around her. Compliance is a means to test your boundaries and to see where you’re at as you build up to the biggest request of all.
How to pick up women is not always easy, but if you’re able to build up compliance by making a series of small requests, you’ll eventually get compliance to bring her back to your bedroom.
If you’re wanting to be successful in your how to pick up women journey, you’ve also got to master the art of qualification. This is basically your way of letting a woman know you’re interested in her for more than just her looks. All women want to know that you’re attracted to them because of their looks, but most women also want to know that your attraction for them goes much deeper and that you’re interested because of their other qualities and things they enjoy as well.
Qualification is basically your guide towards understanding whether or not the woman you’re trying to pick up is attracted to you. For example, if she brushes you off when you’re asking her a personal question and doesn’t provide any real sort of answer, she’s not interested in you. If you ask a woman “what do you like best about yourself”, and she gives you a real answer such as, “I like that I’m generous”, then you’ll know for a fact she’s interested in you. If she wasn’t interested, she would simply not even bother answering your question. With this in mind, you can tell where you’re at with your pick-up process and whether or not it’s going to go any further.
You can also determine through qualification how close you are to getting her to sleep with you. The more personal questions she answers or requests she fulfills, the closer you are to taking her home with you. For example, if you ask a woman to hold your drink and she holds it for you, this means you have gained some value in her eyes and are one step closer to sleeping with her. If she refuses to hold your drink, it’s probably time for you to move on. As you continue through this process, you will increase your value by asking her more personal questions or making more requests. The more you continue to escalate your position, the more likely you are to get the girl.
When it comes to understanding how to pick up women, you’ve got to know where you stand in the pick-up process via qualification. Test the waters, increase your value, and use a qualification guide to get her to sleep with you. Move forward with great confidence and you’ll surely get great results in the end.
How To Tease Her
Another important attraction skill for how to pick up women is knowing how to tease her. Teasing is very important because it opens many doors for you as you’re working on getting a woman interested in you. For starters, when you tease, you’re telling a woman that you’re not intimidated by her. You’re showing that you have confidence by making fun of her. It also puts you in a position of power in the interaction because only cool people can successfully tease others who aren’t as cool as they are. If you’re teasing a girl, and she lets you continue, that means you’ve established the fact that you’re slightly cooler than she is, which grants you the position of power.
It’s important that when you do tease a woman, you do it as quickly as possible in the attraction phase of your pick up process. You don’t have to be mean about it. You can keep it light and playful; however it’s a key component of attracting women. There are numerous different types of teasing, and you can decide which one is right for each unique interaction. Below are a few types of teasing that can help you with the dating process.
The first teasing technique is to give her mixed messages. You could say something to her that’s mildly mean but then put your arm around her and give her a little squeeze. This confuses her, but attraction is often directly the result of confusion.
Another teasing technique that gets great results is called the “push-pull”. This is one technique that every guy should have in his playbook. Basically, with this technique, you push the woman away by teasing her then give her a compliment to pull her back in. For example, you might say to her, “you’re such a pain in the ass, but I do like that in a woman.” Telling her she’s a pain in the ass is the push, and then saying you like that quality is the pull. Also, you’re saying it’s fine to be a pain in the ass, which gives her another reason to like you.
This “push-pull” technique can also be used backwards. You could pull her in with a compliment and then give a mild insult to push her away. So, in this scenario, you could say, “you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. I just hope you’re not a nerd.” You’re telling her that you admire intelligence, but also that you like to have fun.
Lastly, one of my favorite teasing techniques is to give women nicknames. By doing this, it gives her a reason to remember you. You could call her Sweetheart, Darling, Princess, or just about anything else you can come up with. Even using semi-insulting nicknames like Brat or Nerd can work well. Or, if you want to get creative, you can combine nicknames with push-pull and call her a Bratty Sweetheart or Nerdy Princess. Nicknames are a form of flirting, and women understand this. They like it when a guy comes up with a nickname based on a quality she’s proud of. You can also use nicknames when calling her up and asking her out again.
Knowing how to tease a woman is a very important skill for knowing how to pick up women. Women like guys who are playful, and teasing shows them that you are. Additionally, teasing confuses them and confusion also leads to attraction because women want to figure out the truth as to whether or not you really like them. So, master the art of teasing and you will instantly become more attractive in her eyes.
Passing Her Tests
Lastly, initial interactions between men and women are all about the guy trying to figure out how to get the woman in bed. Whereas the woman is trying to figure out whether the guy will pass all her tests on his way to being allowed to sleep with her. Passing these tests is essential for any guy who’s hoping to reach his ultimate goals. Below are some guidelines for how to pass a woman’s tests so that you will surely end up sleeping with her.
I’d first like to point out that if a woman is testing you, it’s a good thing. This means, at the minimum, she is interested and attracted to you. It also means that you’re succeeding with your approach towards picking her up. However, she first needs to find out whether you’re actually a cool guy or if you’re just faking it to get into her pants. She’s going to ask you some basic questions that aren’t really about anything important. She’s going to ask things like, “do you pick up a lot of women?” or, “do you kiss and tell?” Nothing too important, but you still have to pass them regardless.
The first key to passing her test is to always agree. Even if she asks you a completely absurd question like, “are you gay?” you’ve got to sarcastically agree with her. Make your answer as exaggerated as possible so that she knows you’re being sarcastic and understands that your real answer is no. She will also find your response to be pretty funny, which is a bonus because humor builds attraction.
After answering her question, the next step for passing her test is to immediately change the subject. This allows the conversation to progress without any awkward moments between passing her test and moving onto the next stage of the interaction. If you allow any silence to grow, she will continue to test you, which you don’t really want. Another option is to completely ignore the test, since answering her question might not help you achieve your end goal.
All women will test you to make sure you really are the man they want. So, if you’re wanting to sleep with her, you’ve got to know how to pass a woman’s tests. Once you pass her test, the interaction will run much smoother.
I hope this guide for how to pick up women has helped you gain a much clearer understanding of what’s involved in the pick up process. Bookmark this page, share it with your friends, and read through this guide as many times as required for you to really get all the tips, advice, and techniques to sink in.
The best way to master any dating/pick up advice is to actually put what you’re learning to use as much as possible. So get out there, practice what you’ve learnt, meet some women, and get the end results you’re searching for and working towards. Make it happen!
These were a few tips taken from top-level dating coach Jon Sinn’s training program called How To Get Girls To Chase You. If you’re interested in hooking up with more women, or getting an amazing girlfriend, then I highly recommend you sign up for our free 4-part video series for How To Get Girls To Chase You. This program is based on research into female psychology and has been proven to work for thousands of men from all over the world…