Here are the 6 deadliest conversation mistakes YOU might be making with women or men, and how to fix…
These are the top six ways that men and women ruin their conversations with someone they like before even having a chance to create attraction in them.
The fact is…
If you’re wanting to be able to create attraction in someone, you have to be able to talk.
Even if you were to know every “secret attraction building technique” in the entire world, if you’re unable to carry on a conversation, YOU’LL GET NOWHERE.
Right now we’ll focus in on the specific ways you’re destroying your conversations and lowering attraction, without even realizing it.
Mistake #1: Breaking the 90/10 Rule When Starting the Conversation
Ever noticed how most conversations don’t really get going until about five to ten minutes in?
This happens because when you begin talking to new people, especially when you don’t know them yet, they’re going to be just as distant inside their head as you were before you became psyched up to start the conversation.
Conversations require time to create “conversation momentum”.
The issue for most people is that they never give their conversations the opportunity to create that “momentum”.
Most men and women expect to hit the “conversation flow” way too quickly. And because of this the reverse effect happens… then their conversations end up “stalling out”.
Well you’ve got to know how to carry a conversation. You want to be prepared, within the first 5 minutes or so, to carry the conversation by putting in 90, sometimes even 100 percent, of everything into it until the other person gets warmed up a bit.
So how can you make that happen?
It’s a simple answer, just keep talking.
When you take control of the conversation from the very beginning, you’re giving the other person time to “warm up” and shift their brain into “receive mode” instead of “give mode”.
At the end of this article I’m going to reveal how you can use 12 powerful conversation topics to achieve this. For now though, just understand that you HAVE to be prepared to talk 90 percent of the time for the first five to ten minutes of the conversation.
Mistake #2: Failing to Recognize the Signals Women/Men Give Them
You’ve got to recognize the signals women/men are giving you, so you understand whether you’ve got the proper kind of emotional intensity – the appropriate energy – and whether or not the things you’re talking about are even fitting for this point in your conversation.
So how can you make that happen?
You’ve got to use your senses. Your best friends are your eyes and your ears. You have to observe the way people react, and learn how to read them.
It’s easy to sense when you’re boring someone, or when they’re excited, and how they react to you. You’ve just got to pay attention.
The rule of thumb is that when you’re first starting a conversation with a person, or a group of people, you’ll want to have a bit more energy than the person or group had before you joined in.
Once you learn to recognize where someone’s energy level is at, their excitement, their enthusiasm, the way their neurology is wired and lit up, you can present your energy level in a way that’s just slightly above theirs. By doing this you’ll be a success wherever you go because your energy level won’t be too little, nor too much.
Mistake #3: Failing to Assume Rapport Right From the Start
For the longest time it was difficult for me to figure out why it would always take me so long to develop rapport with women, while my friends always seemed to just jump right in…
Then one day I realized…
I was always waiting for rapport to happen naturally… my friends just assumed it.
Whenever you’re talking to a someone, even if it’s the first time you’ve spoken, speak to them the same laid back way you’d speak to an old buddy of yours.
Most people screw up because they do the exact opposite. They speak to someone they like in a “formal, stiff” way, as if they were a stranger. And this just creates the reality that you ARE a stranger. Then they put their guard up because you’ve created this uncomfortable “awkwardness” that kills the conversation.
When you jump right into rapport you’re creating a more enjoyable, natural feeling for the conversation, and this makes someone feel as if they’ve “known you forever”.
Mistake #4: Entering “Interview Mode”
I’ve experienced it, I’m sure you’ve experienced it… Talking to someone you like, and feeling like you’re at a job interview.
This is the dreadful “interview mode”.
This occurs when you’re unsure of what to talk about so you keep the conversation going by asking questions like:
- What do you like to do for fun?
- What do you do for work?
- Where were you born?
- What kind of music do you listen to?
The questions themselves aren’t what lowers attraction. It’s the rapid firing of question after question, and the other person replying with a stream of fact-based answers that destroys any “chemistry”.
Conversations are supposed to have a back and forth, fun vibe… you never want to feel like you’re at a job interview.
Mistake #5: Having the Other Person “Lead” the Conversation
Most people are so uncertain of themselves when talking to someone they like that they look for the woman/man to give them “permission” or “approval” before taking the lead in the conversation.
And that is DEAD wrong.
As soon as the person you like realizes that you’re letting them lead the conversation, their attraction quickly fades.
Most people tend to let others lead their conversations because they’re worried about choosing the wrong topic or “pissing them off”.
But here’s the thing…
People will follow your lead for whatever tone you’ve set for the conversation. If you’ve set a flirty, fun vibe, they’re gonna follow.
And even if they have no interest in the topic you’ve chosen to talk about, they will still respect you way more for taking the initiative.
The Biggest Mistake
So what’s the biggest of the conversation mistakes people make that lowers attraction?
Not getting the help they need…
Fifteen years ago it was almost impossible to obtain this kind of information on improving your conversation skills. Basically, people were forced to either figure everything out on their own, or struggle forever.
But you… you have no excuse, as help is readily available. Help that can have a huge overnight impact on your “game”.
Even though it’s been almost 7 years now since I struggled with this, I can still remember the pain you feel. I had felt it for more than 2/3 of my life. And I don’t want you to have to deal with this.
I now know that whenever I want, I can go out anywhere and create attraction in the women I’m talking to.
If you’re interested in learning how you can create attraction in the women or men you’re talking to, with the help of 12 powerful conversation topics that create love, and also gaining a much deeper understanding of the psychology of love, check out the next page…