Tinder is like the modern dating equivalent to the 1849 Gold Rush, where masses of “forty-niners” congregated to California to find out whether or not the stories of “quick and easy” fortune were true. Unfortunately, most never found what they were looking for, and left just as broke and frustrated as when they arrived. Such is the fate of those who never learn from their Tinder mistakes… Then there were the “lucky” few who found the prosperity and wealth that was there for the taking.
While the Gold Rush was all about where to look, Tinder is all about what’s “the look.” Don’t let the label fool you, pictures and visuals play only a small role when it comes to this “look.” More important are what kind of vibe your profile and messages send out.
Indeed, the guys who are hugely successful on Tinder give off a vibe which entices women so much that they’re inclined to meet up with them in-person, for a date. Most guys who thrive on Tinder are regular, ordinary guys, same as you. Yet, these “regular, ordinary guys” know the secrets revealed in this article…
They understand that what differentiates a Tinder champion from those who lack Tinder success isn’t good looks or the gift of gab, or even a photo collection which shows off an elite lifestyle…
While that stuff obviously doesn’t hurt, most guys who thrive on Tinder rely on something much simpler. So simple that it’s not even something they do. Rather, the secret to success on Tinder is knowing what NOT to do! In most cases, MISTAKES ruin a guy’s chances for matches and dates.
Once you discover the most common, attraction-killing Tinder mistakes, you’ll feel as though you’ve been given a treasure map, leading you to everything you had hoped Tinder could be. Let’s get to it, here are the 9 most common and deadly Tinder mistakes that most guys make…
Mistake #1: Your Pictures Aren’t Telling a Story
If your Tinder pictures aren’t telling a story, she won’t have any reason to be attracted to you. Without some kind of story, she’ll just assume you’re a boring guy and move on.
Your story should be simple, yet reflect some of your attractive qualities and the kind of lifestyle you live. If your pictures show that you’re fun, compassionate, social, or active, you’re going to have a huge advantage over all the bathroom selfie try-hards and headshot nerds.
Mistake #2: Your “About Me” Reads Like an Autobiography (LAME!)
Your About Me section shouldn’t exceed one or two lines. No girl wants to read an autobiographical report about you – there’s nothing sexy about reports.
Make your About Me section enticing. Give her something that doesn’t reveal too much about you, but gets her wanting to learn more. If I said, “I gotta have at least 2 shots of Tequila before I talk about that pic from Mexico”, wouldn’t you want to learn more? Exactly, curiosity is your friend.
Mistake #3: You’re Giving Her Too Much Information
Giving her too much info has most likely cost you more girls than you think. If she knows everything there is to know about you already, what’s the point in meeting up for a date?
Give her just enough to make her want to learn more.
Mistake #4: Desperately Wanting to Show Her That You’re “Different”
If you’re messaging girls telling them how much different you are from all the other guys on Tinder, guess what? YOU’RE BEING THE SAME AS ALL THE OTHER GUYS ON TINDER.
Let your personality shine through via your pictures, About Me section, and messages. This is the only way to set yourself apart from all the other guys and show her how unique you are. Give her what she wants and SHOW her that you’re different, don’t just tell her.
Mistake #5: Falling Into the “Every Girl” Trap
The mindset of “I’ll date any and every cute girl I see” isn’t helping. All you’re doing is hindering yourself from dating the women you REALLY like.
Unless you find her attractive, don’t swipe right! Be selective over the girls you’re wanting to match with. If there’s a certain type of girl you want to attract, don’t be afraid to dress in a way that will attract her. When you’re portraying the look/attitude that will appeal to your type of girl, she’ll be much more likely to match with you.
Mistake #6: Showing Hot Girl Matches How Much You Like Them
You may find her EXTREMELY attractive. You may already REALLY like her. But it’s NOT in your best interest to show her how much.
Come up with a game plan and stick with it. That’s not to say you should have a “copy/paste” routine… but have an idea where you want to steer the conversation towards, and STICK TO THE PLAN (don’t fall into the “she’s special” trap). If what you’re doing worked on ten cute women, then it will work on that absolutely stunning one as well.
Mistake #7: Becoming Her Social Media Fan
You may think that it makes sense to follow her on social media to get her to notice you, but you’re WRONG. This tells her that you’re clamoring for her attention just like all the other guys.
Unless you’re dating her, don’t follow her on Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media channel. If she follows or friends you, fine, but you never want to be the one chasing her on social media.
Mistake #8: Messaging Too Much
You will not get more responses the more you message her. In fact, the OPPOSITE will happen. The whole point of Tinder is to get women out on dates – not to play “text grab-ass.”
Unless there’s good reason to do otherwise, keep your messages short and simple. One dumb comment can ruin your chances of getting her out on a date, and anything you say can and will be used against you. Less is almost always more when it comes to messaging.
Mistake #9: Not Learning From Your Mistakes
Einstein’s definition of insanity was “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. With that in mind, it’s safe to say that he would have excelled on Tinder because he would have been constantly testing things out with his profile, and changing his approach.
You should also have the mindset of a scientist with your approach to Tinder. If your pictures aren’t working, switch it up! If you’re not getting very many matches, don’t hesitate to seek help.
The whole point of your secondary pictures is to show her your story (i.e. you enjoy traveling, spending time with pets, etc…) If all the pictures you’re using are from that amazing weekend out with your friends, you’re only showing her a tiny glimpse into your story.
You want to use pictures where you’re having FUN in a variety of different situations.